The wonderful thing about liberals is they live in an ivory-tower world where all things
are possible, as long as they remain diligent and polite in their pursuit of truth, justice
and the American way.
But being polite becomes a problem, because it usually forces them to back off of
arguments for fear it might hurt the other person's feelings.
Example: Seven ladies out to dinner are discussing their passion for knitting when the
conversation turns to politics. Liberal views are batted around like a shuttlecock on a
Then one of the women holds up her hand with crossing-guard authority and unilaterally
declares an end to the conversation. She tells her dinner mates she does not agree with
them and demands an end to the discussion.
The majority does not rule in this case, and, not wishing to ruffle her feathers, the
conversation returns to knit one purl two.
Another example: With nary a whimper, liberals -- years ago -- renamed themselves
"progressives" after they allowed their detractors turn the perfectly good word "liberal"
into a synonym for "communist."
Liberals are too damned nice for their own good or the good of the causes they espouse
to support. This is also why -- even though they think they are true believers and
straight thinkers -- they rarely get their way.
And, really now, how can liberals prevail in a battle of ideals when their fight song is
"Kumbaya"? But while liberals may back down from a fight, they never give up believing
there is pie in the sky.
These are the Pollyanna liberals. They are not stupid, just naive and terminally
They man phone banks for their candidates, knowing they will be hung up on frequently.
They canvass conservative neighborhoods for those candidates, knowing they will face
slammed doors. These idealists persist on the off chance they will get someone to
change their mind. This is, of course, folly.
They sign online petitions for everything from saving the Northeast ramp fields to
banning the frack fields. Their car bumpers display support of unions and a livable
They march with signs declaring health care for all, peace, people over profits and
against assault weapons, because liberals are flower children at heart and still believe
daisies always trump bullets.
All that said, batten down the hatches, everyone, because here comes another one of
their "it's all moonbeams and unicorns" ideas.
This one promotes the way-out-there concepts of free speech and one person, one vote
and is backed by the organization Move to Amend. So far in our Chagrin Valley, only
Chagrin Falls voters will be faced on Nov. 4 with deciding if those two ideals make
It's ballot Issue 34 and, if approved, asks elected representatives to overturn the
Supreme Court ruling by amending the U.S. Constitution to say only human beings --
not corporations -- are people, and money -- enormous amounts used by those
corporations to influence the political process -- is not the same thing as speech.
Even if it passes in Chagrin Falls, the Constitution will remain unchanged. Shocking, we
know. But what it will do is require Village Council to hold biennial public hearings on
"political influence by corporate entities."
Big frigging deal, right? Right again. But, as any good liberal will earnestly tell you,
"Gosh darn it, we have to start somewhere." Liberals are maddening that way. !